The more I persist, the more I think on it, I have reached the feeling that I am merely drained of it.
Think about it, at a certain point, where do you go? Every combination, every possible smell, victim, ass assailant it’s all been done and said before.
You can change the words and descriptions to infinite combinations but the content is limited in scope. The important aspect is the release and torture (or adoration) that follows; you can fluff it with all the story you want but it doesn’t really change the fact that an Aggressor is farting on a Victim, at some distance, which is then offensive to the Victim’s olfactory senses.
You can exchange the underlined words for other words such as pooping, exciting, and esophagus. Italicized words could be replaced with Lover and Willing Participant.
The farter is fat, the farter is sexy hot; she likes farting, she’s hesitant, she’s sadistic. These are minor detail changes but the core; it’s all just the same story, retold over and over again.
A psychologist perhaps explained it to be best when asked about writing facesitting eroticism; he asked what is there after she sat on his face. Little did he know about the farts and shit that come out but, at the end of the day, the analysis seems correct.
I presume vanilla porn has the equal brick wall of bordom; perhaps only for those who have this mindset beyond or ‘above’ release. But even then, I don’t know what that is; I just assume it’s superior, perhaps it’s highly inferior; a relic.
Perhaps this dying hunger to be dominate is, subconsciously, at the helm; driving the desire into self-destruction if it is further suppressed from reality cum realization.
Perhaps it is just me who thinks the core is dried out; even if just by myself for myself. I’ve written many stories, perhaps the core is over-mined for me. I don’t know.
Maybe my life has drifted away from this; if not, I feel this is the crossroads. At one side stands a relatively asexual normalcy; at the other, a fear yet burning desire to fulfill something that my paranoia would not allow. I do not believe, when beginning one’s life, one can merely stick their face deep in a woman’s ass, be forcibly held to sniff a powerful, potent gassing, and then go about a life of normalcy.
Perhaps following through would kill this desire; even that change is scary. And even that, involves overcoming the paranoia of someone knowing.
What must be done?